


hiraeth

by simplyverstappen



Series: abo verse [3]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Carlos is not a good person in this, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Harassment, Heats, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omega Verse, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, Physical Abuse, alpha voice, like for real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:13:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyverstappen/pseuds/simplyverstappen
Summary: Lando kept his distance from most other Alphas in the paddock, listening to his Mum’s advice and sticking to George and Alex most of the time and it had been okay. He had felt safe.It would’ve been great if it hadn’t been for Carlos.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Series: abo verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849408
Comments: 42
Kudos: 186





	hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is. Lando's backstory sksksk
> 
> It took me quite a while because it is way more serious than the other two parts and I wasn't sure how to write this but here we are. 
> 
> I wanna make one thing clear (and you all know this but just to make sure): **This is fiction.** Obviously Carlos is portrayed in a really bad light here but that's just this fic and his fictional role in here. He is not a good guy in that fic and if you are a Carlos fan....well I warned you. 
> 
> This obviously has nothing to do with Carlos in real life 
> 
> **Please read the tags** , there is no sexual harassment but what Carlos does might make you uncomfortable so please look after yourself 💛 and feel free to send me a message on tumblr if you want to talk about it first 
> 
> the title of the fic - _'hiraeth'_ \- is a Welsh word and is a homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was 
> 
> I do hope that even though it's a bit heavier than the other parts you enjoy it and I'm sending you all so much love 💛

Lando had known that being an Omega in Formula One wouldn’t be easy. It was a sport mostly dominated by Alphas, certain expectations were placed upon the drivers and he knew he didn’t fit into these stereotypes. 

He wasn’t aggressive, overly ‘manly’ (whatever that was supposed to mean) and he wasn’t an Alpha. 

But he was also stubborn as hell, committed and hard-working and he definitely wouldn’t let his biology stop him from chasing his dream. And after all, he wasn’t the first and only Omega in Formula One. 

His first season had been good, really. He got lucky with his team, everyone at McLaren being way kinder than he expected, all of them making sure he’s comfortable. 

He kept his distance from most other Alphas in the paddock, listening to his Mum’s advice and sticking to George and Alex most of the time and it had been okay. He had felt safe. 

It would’ve been great if it hadn’t been for Carlos. 

His teammate - a young, unmated Alpha - had been cautious at first, careful to not scare him away and Lando appreciated it. He really did. 

He just didn’t expect them to become friends and him developing a crush on Carlos. 

But that’s okay, right? Max is also friends with Carlos, he’s a good guy. He’s a decent Alpha, they’re friends. 

Or so Lando thought. 

The first time happens after Monza in 2019. They just finished filming a new video for McLaren’s YouTube channel and Lando is reaching for his jacket while grabbing his phone, stifling a yawn. 

He’s hungry, it has been a long day and all he wants is to get some food and then sleep. 

Henrik already left, having some meeting with Zak and Lando wants to head towards the door as well when he hears Carlos’ voice.

“Cabrón, give me your phone.” 

Lando nearly whimpers at the intensity of the voice, unconsciously baring his neck a little and he stares at Carlos with wide eyes, his Omega side completely shocked. 

Carlos looks at him with dark eyes and Lando doesn’t understand why Carlos used his Alpha voice. It’s forbidden on track, the exception being when you’re mated and he stares at Carlos, his breathing hitching in his throat. 

He doesn’t get it but he also can’t just refuse, slowly stepping forward (his brain is yelling at him not to do it but-) and handing Carlos his phone while all he wants is to run away and cry. What- 

“I’m just joking.” Carlos laughs, breaking the spell while taking Lando’s phone from him and ruffling his hair. “Good pup.” 

Lando stares at him, heart beating in his throat and he hides his shaking hands in sweater paws. It must’ve been a joke, why would Carlos- 

“I just wanted to see if it really works.” Carlos winks at him while sending himself some pictures of today with Lando’s phone and Lando wants to yell at him, be angry at him, tell him that this is no _joke_. 

That he never had an Alpha commanding him around, that his parents never used it on him and that this was his first time. And that he’s genuinely terrified of how his body reacted and how he lost every bit of control over his actions. 

But he can’t, the words getting stuck in his throat when Carlos’ dark eyes flicker back to him and Lando takes a deep breath. He’s sure Carlos must smell his fear, he surely will apologise- but Carlos doesn’t comment on it, just giving him his phone back and leaving the room after giving him another smile. 

As if it all wasn’t a big deal. 

Lando sinks on the sofa, visibly shaken and he swallows down the tears. Carlos probably didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable than he already is. 

That’s why he didn’t say something. And he has said it was a joke so it’s okay, right? They’re friends and maybe Carlos just has an odd sense of humour. Maybe he really just wanted to try it. It’s okay, it won’t happen again.

Or so he thought. 

They spend more time together, getting along really well and Lando knows his crush is getting worse. He wouldn’t go so far to say Carlos’ is his Mate but- he isn’t sure. 

Carlos is incredibly sweet to him though, fooling around with him and Lando gets lulled into some false sense of security, starting to trust Carlos again; it’s a mistake.

# 

He’s totally unprepared when it happens a second time in Austin, this time before a video shoot for McLaren. He talked with Henrik for a good ten minutes, joking with him and showing him some memes on Instagram. He likes the Alpha, he’s very kind and Lando feels safe around him, Henrik never touching him without his consent and staying respectful.

“I’m gonna quickly grab the things I forgot.” Henrik runs a hand through his hair, giving them an apologising smile and Lando grins. “No worries mate.” 

Henrik leaves and Lando turns around, wanting to say something to Carlos (make some stupid joke like always to lighten the mood) when he sees the dark expression in Carlos’ eyes and he freezes. 

“Lando, come here”, he says, his Alpha voice so intense that a small whimper escapes Lando, the Omega side in him cowering. He gets chills and he stares at Carlos dumbstruck. What-

“Lando”, Carlos growls and Lando feels his legs move, walking over. He’s still absolutely terrified of the feeling and when Carlos pulls him on his lap, scenting his throat, he’s frozen in fear. 

Carlos said he won’t do it again, said he wouldn’t use his Alpha voice again- 

“Sorry if this was a bit intense but I just care about you”, Carlos mumbles against his collarbone, “but Henrik is an Alpha and you shouldn’t trust them.”

“You’re also an Alpha”, Lando points out in a small voice, torn between being absolutely terrified when Carlos pulls him closer and his heart beating faster because of his stupid crush. 

Even though he’s pretty sure it’s turning more and more into fear. 

“I am”, Carlos confirms in a low voice, his grip tightening a little and Lando suppresses a whimper - it hurts. “But you can trust me. I won’t hurt you like some of the others.”

“Others?”, Lando manages to say and Carlos nods. “Daniel, Kimi- you should stay away from Alphas in general.”

“But Dan is nice! And he’s Max’ Mate, he would never hurt anyone!” Lando stares at him confused, Dan has always treated him kindly, hugging him every time he sees him and while he keeps his distance from Kimi the older Alpha always has a smile for him. 

“They just wait for the right moment to take advantage of you, _cariño_.” Carlos scoffs, his grip so tight Lando is sure it’s gonna leave bruises. But- Dan would never- 

“Stay. Away. From. Them”, Carlos growls, Lando’s Omega side cowering at the Alpha voice and a whimper escapes his throat while he bares his neck in submission. He blinks rapidly to try and hide the tears while Carlos scents him again, his grip around his waist firm.

Max and Dan are his _friends_ , he trusts them- but when he looks up there’s suddenly worry in Carlos’ eyes. 

“I just care a lot about you”, he says quietly and Lando swallows, pressing himself against Carlos’ chest. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he should stay away from Alphas more. 

# 

He would love to say that it gets better after Austin but it doesn’t. Carlos uses his Alpha voice more and more, Lando hating how he reacts to it but there’s not much he can do. Carlos rarely leaves him alone and Lando is too shy to just walk up to Dan and Max. 

Carlos tolerates Alex and George, the Beta and Omega not being a threat but he always has a close eye on him and Lando still isn’t sure if he should find Carlos’ overprotectiveness cute or terrifying.

It’s after the race in Abu Dhabi that Max catches Lando alone in the garage, hugging him. “Mate, you’ve made yourself scarce”, he says with a grin and Lando holds back the tears at his friend’s familiar scent. He missed him so much. 

He reluctantly hugs him back, not sure if they’re alone but Max seems relaxed enough and he gives him a bright smile. “So Dan and I wondered if you want to hang out later, celebrate the end of the season-“

“Lando.” 

Lando flinches when he hears Carlos’ voice and he slowly turns around, the Alpha leaning against the wall of the garage and staring at them. Lando gets goosebumps at how dark Carlos’ eyes are but Max doesn’t seem to notice it, only giving him a warm smile. “Carlos, how you’re doing?” 

“Good, mate.” Carlos forces himself to a smile (Lando knows it’s fake) before looking back at Lando. “But we just wanted to leave, right, Lando?” 

He’s not using his Alpha voice, not in front of Max but Lando is terrified of Carlos even without and he nods hesitantly, slowly stepping away from Max. He would’ve loved to celebrate the end of the season with Max and Dan but Carlos’ glare is burning holes into him and he swallows dryly. 

“I’m gonna text you, mate”, he promises before he steps next to Carlos who immediately puts an arm around his waist, possessively scenting him. Max looks confused but before he can say something Carlos pulls Lando along, into the crowded paddock and away from his friend. 

Lando bites his bottom lip so hard he can taste blood, snuggling closer against Carlos which gets him a pleased rumble in return. Maybe the winter break helps, maybe Carlos will realise that Lando is okay. That he doesn’t need constant protection. 

# 

The winter break didn’t do shit except that Lando cried when he saw his Mum again, blaming it on the exhaustion and on how much he missed his family. His Mum had hugged him tightly, knowing he had always been a bit more sensitive and he saw the worry in her eyes.

Saw how he flinched when his Dad swore at the TV after Christmas. Saw how he flinched when Oliver moved too quickly and broke a glass in the kitchen. Saw the bruises on his wrists from Carlos’ hands. 

But Lando has played it down, said he’s fine and while he sought his mother out more than once, her familiar Omega scent calming him, he never told her anything. He is terrified of going back for the new season and when he arrives in Barcelona for Testing, he really doesn’t know how to act. 

He hasn’t seen Carlos since Abu Dhabi and a few occasional Live videos on Instagram but when they meet at the airport and Carlos gives him a warm smile, no darkness in his eyes, hugging him as if he’s the most precious thing in the world-

Lando nearly dares to hope. What if Carlos just had a bad end of the season, got frustrated- what if he’s really sorry about it-

He wouldn’t be so stupid and pull that abusive shit in the paddock, right? 

But then Carlos tightens his hug, a possessive growl escaping his throat when a few Alphas pass them and Lando lowers his gaze, a lump forming in his throat. Please, no. 

Carlos doesn’t let go off him when they’re in the taxi on their way to the hotel, keeping him close and Lando is absolutely terrified. He doesn’t know exactly what happens if you disobey an Alpha, his classes in school hadn’t been really helpful in that regard but he also never had to find out. 

He has always gotten along with the few Alphas he met and his Omega side is screaming at him to just submit to Carlos. To let him take whatever he apparently wants but the rational side of Lando’s brain is still fighting against it. 

And he’s terrified. 

Carlos’ grip is so tight it’s going to leave bruises again and Lando suppresses a whimper - it hurts. But he doesn’t dare to fight against his grip and he goes limp against his side, praying they’re there soon. 

Carlos growls apprehensively, his hand quickly ghosting over his cheek. “Good pup. Come on.” 

He leads him in his room and the second the door is shut Lando tenses more. Carlos’ Alpha scent is even more present here and he instinctively bares his neck in submission when Carlos comes towards him. 

“I want you to stay with me in the paddock”, he says and Lando frowns, trying to swallow the fear. “You mean-“ 

“You won’t go anywhere without me, understood? You’ll stay by my side”, Carlos interrupts him, the Alpha voice making shivers run down Lando’s spine and he tries to catch his breath, biting his bottom lip so hard he tastes blood. But- 

His friends- 

“What about Max, George, they’re my _friends_ -“ 

“They’re fucking useless Omegas.” Carlos snorts and Lando tries to hide his hurt at that statement - they’re not _lesser_ just because they’re not Alphas. His parents have taught him and his siblings that from a young age on and Lando swallows, ignoring the fear.

“They’re not just useless Omegas, Max is not weak, he-“ 

“The only reason why Max is still walking through the paddock unharmed is because he has Daniel protecting him“, Carlos growls, pushing Lando against the wall a hand on his throat. “They don’t dare to touch him when he’s around because they’re afraid of Ricciardo.” 

Lando knows this isn’t true, he saw Alphas cower in front of Max without Dan being around but- 

“You are scared of Dan”, he whispers, realisation dawning on him and a deep growl escapes Carlos’ throat. “I’m not.” 

He glares at him and Lando whimpers, wanting nothing more than to get away. 

“I thought Max is your friend.” 

“Doesn’t mean I agree with him trying to defy his biology - it’s ridiculous.” Carlos snorts, shaking his head. “He should just accept what he is.” 

Hearing Carlos talk like that about his friend hurts and Lando swallows, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears. He’s scared shitless of Carlos and he knows talking back won’t help him. 

“You’ll stay by my side all the time, understood?” 

Lando nods under tears, biting his bottom lip so hard he can taste blood. God, this season is going to be hell.

# 

As much as COVID-19 is a nightmare for so many people - it is a blessing for Lando. He gets to self-quarantine at home for nearly three months and while he’s all alone and misses his family terribly it also means there’s no Carlos. 

He still has nightmares every night, scared Carlos suddenly shows up but streaming helps - and he gets to spend more time with Max, Alex, George and, surprisingly, Charles. Even if it’s just virtually.

Carlos doesn’t know how often Lando talks on the phone with Max and while he keeps sending him messages that he shouldn’t stream with the boys- 

Lando ignores them. 

The same goes for Carlos’ calls, he just turns his phone around while waiting it out and he knows he’ll get hell for that when they eventually start racing again but he couldn’t care less at the moment. 

For the first time since Christmas, he feels safe and he is starting to enjoy things again, loving his daily streams and the virtual races. 

“How are you coping with Dan being in Australia?”, he asks Max, he ended his stream but Max and he are talking on the phone and Lando pulls his fluffy blanket over him. 

He misses Max but there’s not much they can do and hearing his voice is comforting - he didn’t speak much with him during Testing. Which is all to blame on Carlos for not leaving his side. 

“I miss him”, Max admits after a few seconds of silence, “and it’s the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since Mating.” 

“Why didn’t you stay?” Lando curls himself up on his chair, feeling warm and safe in his house with the blanket around him and Max’ voice in his ear. 

“Would’ve been too obvious if I stayed so I went back home. But we talk on the phone every day.” Max sighs and Lando knows it’s not the same. He can only imagine how Max’ Omega side must feel and he instinctively coos, wishing he could be there for his friend. 

“Ah, it’s fine, mate. Don’t worry about it.” Max’ voice sounds light but Lando knows he misses him and he bites his bottom lip. He misses Dan too, misses his hugs but there’s also an underlying fear now when he thinks of the older Alpha and he hesitates. 

“Can I ask you something?” He stares at his black screen, pulling his bottom lip in while his heartbeat picks up a little. 

“Sure.”

He’s not sure if it’s his place to ask. But Max is his friend, right? It will be okay. 

“Did Dan ever use his Alpha voice on you?” His voice is so quiet Lando is sure Max didn’t hear him but then- 

“No, why on earth would he do that?! I mean he sometimes uses it during sex because he knows it turns me on but he would never- why?!” Max sounds disbelieving and a heavy feeling settles in Lando’s stomach, tears pooling in his eyes. 

“Just making sure he treats you right”, he whispers and he hears Max take a deep breath. “He does, Lando, don’t worry about it. Dan is the best Alpha there is.” 

His voice turned soft and Lando nods, desperately trying to hide his tears and he swallows the lump in his throat. “I’m happy for you, mate.” 

And he is. But he’s also crying for himself and he ends the phone call after a few more words, hugging his legs and crying quietly in his gaming room. 

# 

April is still dominated by quarantine and gaming and Lando is surprised how well he gets along with Charles. He never knew the older Omega is so much fun but they play Rocket League and Call of Duty together and Lando really enjoys it. 

It feels so good to spend time with his friends even though it’s just virtual and he catches himself laughing more and more often, the distance to Carlos definitely good for him. 

“Are you okay, Lando?”, Alex asks him after they finished streaming but still talk over Discord and Lando frowns. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You’ve kinda avoided us for the last part of the season.” Alex sounds worried and Lando draws in a shaky breath, his fingernails burying in his lower arm. Of course they've noticed.

“I’m good, was just stressful”, he mumbles and he knows they’re not convinced. Knows them long enough to hear the frown in George’s voice when he asks him again if he’s alright but he can’t tell them. He really can’t. 

# 

It’s May, they're still in quarantine and while Lando is getting a bit bored (and he genuinely misses racing), this was the first night he slept without nightmares and he definitely blames it on the distance by now. 

He’s still laying in bed, staring at the ceiling with a small smile, the sun shining brightly through his window and he feels oddly at peace. His bruises have all healed by now and Carlos is nothing but a faint memory. A bad dream. 

He knows that this is dangerous - knows that he’s lured into some false sense of security but he couldn’t care less. At the moment he’s doing okay and that’s all that matters. 

He’s doing so much better during his Heats as well, still taking the Heat Suppressant of course (he’s not an idiot) but while he was always alone during his Heats in the last few months, he now calls Max, Alex, George or Charles, his friends being there for him so he’s not alone. 

Lando never had a Pack and he doubts he’ll get one with Carlos behaving like that but for the last few weeks, he allowed himself to dream a little. He feels safe around them, protected. 

He grabs his phone, ignoring his work e-mails and opens Instagram, still sleepy. He needs some time to wake up before he can deal with Zak-

**’BREAKING: Daniel Ricciardo joins McLaren for 2021 season.’**

_What_.

Lando stares at the picture from the official F1 Instagram account before he taps on Renault’s account but they confirmed it - Daniel is leaving them at the end of the season. What- how- but- 

From one second to the other Lando is fully awake and when he goes on McLaren’s Instagram his team confirmed it as well. He knew silly season would start early after Seb left Ferrari but- How did he not know about this, how- why did no one tell him- 

His e-mails. Lando’s heart is beating fast in his chest and he opens the app, staring at the thirty e-mails in his inbox. There’s one from Zak to everyone in the team but he ignores that one, opening the one solely addressed to him first. 

It’s from Zak, sent at 6 am this morning and Lando forces himself to take a deep breath to stop his hand from shaking. 

“Lando, 

Carlos won’t extend his contract with us for next season. I’m really sorry, I know you two are close but he has another opportunity - won’t spoil it, you’ll find out soon enough. 

We signed Daniel Ricciardo for the 2021 season, we’ll announce it later today. I’m sure you two will get along.

Hope you’re staying safe, kid.

Zak”

Lando stares at the words on his screen, heart beating fast in his chest and he draws in a shaky breath. Carlos is leaving. 

Carlos is leaving McLaren at the end of the season. 

He tears up, he doesn’t know if out of relief or fear - he’ll get Daniel as a teammate and at this point, he’s absolutely terrified of the other Alpha - and he hugs his pillow tightly.

Carlos didn’t tell him. Carlos didn’t tell him _shit_ and for a second Lando considers texting him but he has ignored every message and phone call so far and he knows it’s healthier if he keeps his distance. 

But there’s one person who might be able to give him some answers and he calls Max, praying he’s awake already. It’s 11 am in Monaco, he should be awake- 

“Hey-“ 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” He doesn’t want to sound so accusing but his vice is still shaking and he can hear Max sigh. 

“Mate, no offence but you have no filter when it comes to some things. You probably would’ve spoiled it in your stream or something like that.” 

...he’s not wrong. But still, they’re _friends_ \- 

“And I know you and Carlos are close but that doesn’t mean you won’t be friends anymore”, Max adds softer and Lando involuntarily gets goosebumps. He wants to scream at Max, wants to tell him that Carlos and he are not friends anymore, wants to tell him what Carlos did but he can’t. 

Maybe Carlos will stop doing it now that he apparently found a better team (Lando can only think of Ferrari and _oh god_ , he needs to talk with Charles), will leave him alone and Lando swallows down his words. 

“I know”, he whispers weakly, Max cooing and trying to cheer him up (“Dan is so excited, he might text you today-“ “How does he have my number?!?!” “Mate, really now?”) but it doesn’t help much. 

Later that day Ferrari announces that Carlos will join them next season and while Lando really couldn’t care less where that bastard is going - all he can think about is Carlos doing to Charles what he did to Lando. 

“What do you think about Carlos becoming your teammate?”, he starts carefully that night when they’re talking on the phone, none of them streaming. “I mean-“ 

“I’m gonna miss Seb a lot”, Charles admits, “but Carlos seems alright so yeah, we’ll see.” 

He has absolutely no idea and Lando bites his bottom lip so hard he can taste blood, tears pooling in his eyes. 

“I’m just saying 'cause he’s an Alpha and you might be uncomfortable-“

“Ah, don’t worry mate, I had Marcus as an Alpha teammate at Sauber and we got along just fine.” Charles laughs, sounding completely relaxed. “All of them are professional enough at this level, they know how to behave. It's just a lot of bark and no bite.” 

Lando closes his eyes, tears silently running down his face. 

“Just be careful, yeah?”, he whispers, trying to keep his voice steady and he clears his throat. “Look after yourself.” 

If Charles finds it weird that Lando indirectly warns him about his teammate he doesn’t let it show. 

“I will, mate, don’t worry.” His voice is still kind and Lando swallows dryly, a lump in his throat. “Good.”

God, he’s terrified of racing starting again.

# 

Austria, on a racing level, goes better than Lando could’ve dreamed of. Getting onto the podium during the first race in the new season is amazing and as much as he’d have loved to celebrate it with his family, he’s okay. 

Charles hugs him tightly when no one is looking and Lando buries his face in his friend’s neck, Charles cooing softly at him. It feels good to get some comfort again, to have other Omegas around him. 

Austria on a personal level is a nightmare. Carlos is forcing him to stay by his side, using his Alpha voice every time they’re alone and after the second race, he can tell Carlos is pissed.

He lost P3, finishing far more behind than he started and Lando whimpers when he hears him yell at his race engineer in the garage. His scent is intoxicating, overwhelming and he curls up in a ball on the sofa in his driver’s room. 

There are new bruises on his arms from Carlos’ hands and Lando nearly got a panic attack when Dan wanted to talk to him before. He reached a point where he’s afraid of every single Alpha in the paddock but no one seems to notice. 

Carlos is constantly by his side, ‘protecting’ him and Lando holds back a sob when he hears how frustrated Carlos sounds. His Omega side is torn, wanting to comfort the Alpha but it’s also scared shitless and he buries himself in his nest. 

He has no idea how he’s supposed to make it through the season. 

“Cabrón.” Lando flinches when he hears Carlos’ voice, the Alpha coming into his driver’s room, ignoring Lando’s scent which is full of fear. He sits down next to him in his nest, Lando escaping a whimper (this is his safe space, he shouldn’t _be_ here-) and pulls him into a strong hug. 

To an outsider, it might look comforting but all Lando feels is pure terror. He doesn’t dare to breathe and he bares his neck in submission, blinking away the tears when Carlos scents him. 

“They’re so incompetent, they can’t even come up with a strategy for their Number 1 Driver”, he growls and Lando bites his bottom lip to stop himself from saying something. 

Zak made it clear on multiple occasions that they treat them equally and that they don’t have a Number 1 Driver. But he knows it would border on suicide to talk back to Carlos right now so he just nods, pressing himself against Carlos to hide his tears.

# 

He misses his friends so much it hurts. Every time he sees Alex, George, Charles and Max in the paddock and he wants to say something, Carlos’ grip around his arm tightens and he avoids his gaze, quietly walking on. 

He’s not alone anymore, Carlos barely allowing anyone else close and if anyone seems to wonder, they don’t say anything. Lando fakes happiness, pretends to not care much about Carlos’ protectiveness and laughs when people bring it up when all he actually wants is to cry. 

It’s his own personal nightmare and he can’t wake up from it. 

“I want you to stop taking the Heat suppressants”, Carlos says when they’re in Silverstone and Lando freezes dead in his tracks, slowly turning around. “What?!” 

He must be joking, not even Carlos can be that stupid- he knows what happens when he doesn’t take them-

He’d be a wide-open target for every Alpha in the paddock. 

“They fuck with your head, influence your mood”, Carlos explains as if he’s talking about the weather. “Suppress your scent. I don’t like that.” 

The whole _point_ of the suppressants is to subdue his scent during the Heats and Lando stares at him before he shakes his head. “Absolutely not mate, I need to take them, I won’t-“

He yelps when Carlos pushes him against the wall, his brown eyes nearly black and his hand on his throat. 

“Stop taking the suppressants, Lando”, he growls in his Alpha voice and Lando stares at him, tears in his eyes. “Carlos-“

“I said no!” Carlos’ voice is so low Lando just starts crying more, the grip around his throat hurting and he lowers his gaze, praying he will get out of this. “Please-“

“Stop taking them, I don’t like it, understood?!” Carlos’ grip tightens even more, Lando really has problems breathing now and he chokes back a sob, nodding under tears. Why did he even try to fight against an Alpha? 

There’s no way you can disobey an Alpha voice and god, he’s so stupid. He sobs when Carlos lets go of him and leaves, door slamming closed behind him and Lando sinks to the ground.

He knows the effects of not taking his suppressants, he forgot one time during F2 but luckily Alex and George had helped him through it, making sure he was alright. 

But now? He knows it will only get worse but he’s absolutely terrified of disobeying Carlos and when he’s on his way back to the hotel that night, he nearly starts crying when Lewis passes him, flashing him a friendly smile. 

He can’t help but be terrified of the Alpha and he hugs himself, Lewis already further ahead. He goes straight to his room, ignoring the messages and unanswered calls on his phone and he hides in his bed, crying. 

He misses his Mum so much and even though he locked his room and realistically knows no one can come in he can’t sleep. He hugs his pillow tight to his chest, still crying and wanting nothing more than his Mum to be here. 

Telling him that he’s okay, that she’ll fix it and that no one will hurt him. He’s slowly breaking and there’s nothing he can do.

# 

He got so skittish that he flinches at every single noise and every movement that’s a bit too fast. He is even keeping his distance from Zak, too scared of what he might do and not taking the suppressants is just as bad as he thought it would be. 

His first full Heat since he presented at 16 comes before Barcelona and he tells the team he’s sick, staying in his hotel room all on his own for three days, hiding. They are the worst three days of his life, spend with crying and trying to get himself off and just praying it will be over soon. 

Carlos doesn’t seem too bothered by it, just giving him a pleased look when he’s back and Lando is pretty sure every fucking person in that paddock smells that he went into Heat. They probably all think he forgot to take the suppressants and then lived with the consequences - think he’s a stupid, unreliable kid. 

Lando hates it but he is also terrified of Carlos and he takes a deep breath. The paddock is nearly empty, the sun setting and for the first time in weeks, he’s actually alone. Carlos is still having a meeting with his race engineer and while he didn’t seem pleased about Lando leaving on his own he couldn’t do much about it. 

“Lando!” He flinches but it’s just Alex’ voice and Lando forces himself to smile, nervously playing with the sleeves of his hoodie when he turns around - he can’t let anyone see the bruises. Alex isn’t alone, George, Charles and Max are with him and he swallows dryly. 

If Carlos notices- but then George hugs him and Lando really has to hold back the tears, making a soft noise at the older Omega and hiding his face in his shoulder.

“You’re doing okay, pup?”, Alex asks him and Lando flips him off but he can’t stop the smile spreading over his face. “I’m not a pup-“

“You’re the youngest of our Pack”, Max interrupts him dryly, “therefore you are. Are you okay, mate?” 

Lando stares at him, his mind still trying to progress the words ‘our Pack’ and the lump in his throat is back. They consider him Pack. They care about him even though he mostly avoided them since racing started again and he draws in a shaky breath when he sees their concerned looks on him. 

“Yeah”, he cracks out, forcing himself to smile. “Just ... all a bit stressful, lately. But I’m good.” 

Lying to them physically hurts but he knows he can’t tell them the truth. Can’t tell them what he went through in the last few months and is still going through and Charles frowns, putting an arm around his shoulder. 

The gesture feels so different than with Carlos and Lando instinctively cuddles into his side, feeling a bit safer. More protected. 

“I heard you went into Heat”, George says quietly and Lando blushes deeply, lowering his gaze. 

“Was an idiot and forgot to take my suppressants, that’s all”, he mumbles, stepping out of Charles’ embrace even though his Omega side is definitely disagreeing. 

He wants the closeness, _needs_ it, but Carlos will kill him if there’s another scent on him and he can’t tell his friends - his _Pack_ \- the truth and Alex raises his eyebrows. “Mate, you never forgot-“ 

“Yeah, you always took them, you didn't go into a full Heat since you were sixteen”, George says and Lando shrugs, glad that the sleeves of his hoodie hide the bruises on his arms. “There’s always a first time, right?” 

And he has no idea how he should keep that up. 

“You’re also scared of Dan”, Max points out, taking a step closer. “You’re avoiding him, flinching every time he talks to you about something that is not connected to Formula One.” 

Lando stares at him, heart beating fast in his throat when he feels cornered, anxiety pooling in his stomach. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

They can’t know, they can’t- 

“Lando, I know what the signs mean-“ 

“You don’t know shit, Max”, Lando interrupts him, a bit harsher than he intended to and he takes a few steps back, holding back the tears. He doesn’t want to be rude, doesn’t want to be mean but they can’t know or Carlos- 

Lando doesn’t even want to think about him or what he’d do.

“I’m fine, okay?! I’m just stressed lately, stop worrying!” He turns around and walks away, effectively hiding his tears while all he actually wants is to turn around hug Max. He is his friend, maybe he could protect him- 

“You’re okay, cabrón?” Lando nearly gets a heart attack at the familiar voice and he nods, Carlos appearing next to him pulling him against his side. 

Lando doesn’t turn around, tears still quietly running down his face and he forces himself to keep it together. 

It’s going to be fine.

#

It’s not fine. They’re in Spa, he went through another Heat in August and while it was hell it’s nothing compared to right now. He’s sweating, his heart beating so fast he can feel it against his ribs and he has no idea how he made it through Free Practice.

Will gives him a concerned look when he gets out of the car but Lando ignores his race engineer, trying his best not to faint right here and then. What the _fuck_ , it’s not supposed to be that bad- 

He needs to leave. Now. He knows better than anyone else what scent he gives off, with what he’s flooding the garage and Will slowly comes closer, steadying him. 

“Mate-“ 

“‘M fine, just need to lay down a bit”, Lando mumbles, the Beta’s touch soothing him a little and he tries not to flinch when Carlos’ musky scent hits his nose. No. No, he can’t have any Alpha around now, not when he’s going into Heat- 

“I’m gonna bring him back”, Carlos says, his arm sliding around Lando’s waist and Will hesitates, clearly not comfortable leaving Lando alone with an unmated Alpha. “I’m not sure if-“

“I’ll take him”, Carlos growls, his grip tightening and Will stares at him incredulously, clearly taken aback by Carlos’ protectiveness. Lando prays he says something, stops him- 

But then Will nods and Lando feels like he’s going to suffocate. His dick is half-hard, he’s leaking with pre-cum and all he wants is to take some suppressants to make it stop. And he needs is closeness from someone he feels safe around and he wants to cry. 

He misses his Mum so much.

“Guess it should be fine. Take care of him.” Will gives him a stern look and Carlos nods, leading him out of the garage. “Don’t worry, I will.” 

Lando whimpers, genuinely terrified at this point while Carlos leads him away from the safety of the McLaren garage and he can barely walk at this point, only Carlos’ arm around his waist holding him up.

He feels sick, nausea pooling in his stomach and he only realises they’re on their way to Carlos’ motorhome when they pass his own.

“Carlos, no, what-“

“Shhh, I’m gonna take care of you”, Carlos mumbles, brushing a few strands of hair from his sweaty forehead. “Let me help you with your Heat.” 

Lando feels like he’s going to throw up any second, blood running cold in his veins and he weakly shakes his head. “No, Carlos, just lemme lay down, please-“

“Get the _fuck_ away from him.” Max’ cold voice whips through the air and Lando nearly cries in relief while Carlos tenses. They turn around, Max standing in front of them with his arms crossed, a dark look in his eyes. 

“Get. Away. From. Him”, Max repeats, growing lowly and Carlos snorts. “I’m taking care of him-“

“He’s terrified of you!” Max takes a quick step forward, pulling Lando out of his arms and Lando sobs, clinging on to Max as if his life depends on it. “He doesn’t want your help!” 

“Lando is _mine_ -“ 

“Lando is no one’s and he only belongs to himself, you absolute bastard!”, Max hisses, letting go off Lando when Carlos comes closer, a dark look in his eyes. 

Lando sinks on the ground, still crying while hugging his knees and he prays Carlos won’t hurt Max. He’s still an Omega, no matter how tough he is-

“Leave, Verstappen”, Carlos growls, using his Alpha voice and Lando whimpers, moving back until his back hits the cold wall of the motorhome. 

Max just stares back at Carlos, not moving and he raises one eyebrow. “Did you really just use your Alpha voice on me?” His voice is so cold it sends shivers down Lando’s spine and Carlos’ narrows his eyes. 

“I said leave, Omega”, he growls and Max snorts. “Save your mind games, I’m mated to Dan and his Alpha voice is the only one I’m listening to. Fuck you, Sainz.” 

He punches him hard in the face and Carlos groans, staggering back in surprise. Lando whimpers, more scared for Max than for Carlos and he makes himself small, hugging his knees tighter to his chest. 

All he wants is to disappear, to wake up from this nightmare, his upcoming Heat still making him so scared and vulnerable and he wipes a few tears away, hiding his hands in sweater paws.

He feels so fucking alone, his breathing quickening and he knows he needs to get out of here - soon. But he can’t get up, not trusting his legs and he blinks rapidly to try and keep the tears at bay. 

“Lando?” Lando flinches heavily when he hears Dan’s voice and he moves back, a snarl escaping his throat. 

“Don’t touch me”, he whispers with teary eyes, his voice breaking. “Don’t- please don’t hurt me!” 

Dan furrows his brow in confusion before his eyes fall on Carlos who’s still fighting with Max and the Alpha looks like he just realised a lot of things, his face darkening. 

“That bastard”, he growls but he frowns when he looks back at Lando. “Oh fuck”, he mumbles. “Lando are you-“

“Going into Heat”, Lando whispers, sure his voice is going to leave him soon and Dan nods curtly. 

“Alright. Max.” Max looks up immediately at his Mate’s voice and Dan closes his eyes, seeming to try hard not to breathe in Lando’s scent. “Get him out of here, I’ll take care of that bastard.” 

Max nods, backing away from Carlos who’s holding his nose and Dan’s hand gently wipes some blood from Max’ face. It’s a simple, soft gesture and Max squats down next to Lando, offering him his hand. 

“Come on, let’s get you out of here”, he coos, Lando hesitantly letting himself get pulled up and nearly falling into Max’ arms while Dan holds Carlos back - the Australian Alpha looks like he’s ready to murder him. 

“I got you”, Max mumbles, steadying him and leading him away from the scene, “don’t worry, I got you.” 

They run into Alex, George and Charles just a few moments after, all three looking worried and Max quickly fills them in on what happened. 

“I’m gonna kill that bastard-“, Charles starts but Alex shakes his head, putting a hand on his arm. “Lando has priority.” 

“And Dan is taking care of him right now”, Max adds while George puts his arm around Lando’s waist as well, steadying him. Lando closes his eyes, he’s sure he’s close to fainting and Max tightens his grip. 

“Does anyone of you has any suppressants?”, Charles asks and Lando opens his eyes again but they all shake their head. 

“In my motorhome”, George suddenly says and Alex nods towards the dimly lit path in front of them. “Let’s get him out of here.”

They’re slow though, Lando barely being able to walk and Max sighs before he simply lifts him up, George helping him to support Lando’s weight. 

“My god, you’re light”, Max mumbles and Lando shrugs, too dizzy to actually get something out. Tears are still running down his cheeks, his throat is sore and he knows his underwear is completely wet at this point. 

He didn’t eat much in the last few weeks, the constant stress got the better of him and he buries his face in Max’ neck. He feels like a child but he couldn’t care less - he feels safe for the first time in months. 

He knows Max’ scent, a mix of Dan’s Alpha scent, which still freaks him out a little but it’s mixed with Max’ familiar Omega scent and Lando knows he can trust him. 

Alex walks behind them, Charles and George flanking Max and he can feel that they’re stressed. 

His scent is unmistakably the one of an Omega in Heat and Max growls at a few mechanics they pass before they reach the safety of George’s motorhome. The second the door is shut behind them Alex relaxes while Max is still holding Lando. 

“Okay, let’s get you cleaned up, baby”, Charles mumbles, his fingers carding comfortingly through Lando’s hair and Max gently sits him down on the closed toilet seat. 

Lando doesn’t resist when they pull his hoodie over his head and he lowers his gaze when he hears all of them draw in a sharp breath at the bruises. 

“Lando-“

Alex’ voice breaks and Max takes a deep breath, trying to control his anger while Lando doesn’t let go off George’s hand, tears still in his eyes. 

“I want my Mum”, he whispers, flinching when Charles helps him out of his pants - his boxers are ruined by slick and pre-cum.

“I want my Mum.” He breaks down crying again, not noticing the worried look the other four exchange before Alex leaves the small bathroom, phone in his hand. Max helps him to shower, his touch surprisingly gentle and when he’s wrapped into a fluffy towel after, Charles hands him a few suppressants. 

“They won’t stop it fully anymore, it’s too late for that but they’ll make it easier”, he says quietly and Lando swallows them without hesitation, closing his eyes. Max helps him into sweatpants and an oversized hoodie from George and Lando can feel himself calm down a little at the familiar Pack scent.

He’s not sure if he can trust his legs but Max just picks him up again, carrying him to George’s bed, Alex already waiting for them with a small smile.

“I called your Mum, she’ll be here as soon as she can”, he says and Lando chokes back a sob, hugging Alex tightly. 

The others settle around him and Lando can feel his heartbeat slowly calm down. He still feels sick but the nausea is slowly leaving his body and he rests his head on Max’ chest, taking a deep breath. 

He feels like he’s slowly regaining control over his body and while his body still hurts he’s mostly just exhausted. The presence of the others around him calms him, Carlos and everything that happened far away and he blinks away a few tears. He’s okay, he’s safe.

“You want to tell us what happened?”, Alex asks quietly, his hand brushing gently through Lando’s hair. “You don’t have to though.”

“Carlos-“ Lando’s voice breaks and he moves a bit closer to Max, the Omega protectively wrapping his arms around him, “started with using his Alpha voice on me.” 

The others tense visibly and Lando forces himself to keep talking, the lump in his throat hurting. 

“Started pushing me around, didn’t want me to spend time with anyone else than him.” His hand trails over a bruise on his wrist and he closes his eyes. “Using his Alpha voice every time I tried to disobey.”

The others stay quiet and Lando is grateful for it, needing the time to collect himself and actually say the next few words. 

“He made me stop taking my Heat suppressants.” 

Max’ grip tightens, a low growl escaping his throat and when Lando opens his eyes again, all four of them stare at him in shock. 

“He did _what_?!”, Charles hisses and George shakes his head in disbelief. “That’s insane-“ 

“I was so scared of him”, Lando whispers, “so, so scared.” He can’t cry anymore, he has the feeling he doesn’t have any tears left and he looks up when Max’ phone rings.

“Did you kill that bastard?”, Max starts without a greeting and Lando cuddles closer against his chest, biting his lip so hard he can taste blood.

“I dealt with him”, he hears Dan’s voice at the other end of the line, “got Zak and the FIA involved. McLaren will launch an official investigation against him and Lando should be safe.” 

“Thank fuck”, Max mumbles and Lando lets out a sob, not really believing that that’s it. It can’t be that easy, what- 

“Do you want me to come over?”, he hears Dan ask and Lando tenses, immediately hating himself for it. Dan is Max’ Alpha and their Pack Alpha if Max wants him here- 

But to his relief, Max just shakes his head. “Not yet. I don’t think Lando can take it.” He coos at him when he sees the tears in Lando’s eyes and Charles presses a kiss against his cheek. 

Max exchanges a few more words with Daniel, the Alpha apparently not mad that he’s sleeping alone tonight and when Max ends the phone call, Lando gives him a shy look. 

“Are you all staying tonight?”, he asks, he sounds so fucking weak while he can feel the slick in his underwear again and to his relief, the others nod. 

“We won’t leave you alone, pup”, George mumbles, making sure he’s tucked in. “Don’t worry.” 

Lando nods, exhaustion slowly overwhelming him and he slips into a restless sleep. 

He wakes up multiple times, always sweaty and from a nightmare but there’s always one of the boys awake, gently helping him to get cleaned before cuddling him back to sleep and when the sun rises the next morning, he still feels like shit. 

A bit better but still like shit and he flinches heavily when someone knocks on the door. Max gets up, narrowing his eyes but Lando realises the familiar smell and tears spring to his eyes while he jumps up. 

His legs are still weak and Charles steadies him with a worried look but Lando is already past Max, opening the door and throwing himself into his mother’s arms.

“Mama!” He’s crying again and she cradles him against her chest while coming in, Max closing the door behind her again. 

“Hello baby”, she whispers, kissing his cheek and when Lando looks up, her eyes are filled with worry. “Oh, my darling.” 

She sinks on the bed, Lando clinging to her as if he’s five years old again, breathing in her familiar scent and Cisca looks at Alex and the others. 

“What happened?”

George starts to quietly tell her everything, Lando not letting go of her and when his friend is done Cisca growls lowly. “I can’t believe this, he- what happened to that bastard?!” 

She looks absolutely furious but Lando isn’t scared for once - it calms him and Max smiles grimly. 

“Daniel took care of him. Zak knows, so does the FIA and Carlos will face consequences”, he explains and Cisca nods, pressing a kiss against Lando’s cheek. “Good. Make him pay.”

#

He needs a week until his Heat is over completely and he’s ready to get out of George’s motorhome again, Max and the other three not leaving his side. The whole paddock knows by now what happened, Carlos not allowed to approach him anymore and Lando smiles tentatively when he sees Seb coming towards him with a worried expression. 

“Oh, pup”, he mumbles before opening his arms and Lando cuddles up, Seb cooing at him while carding his fingers through his hair. Lando is not scared of Seb, he feels safe around the older Omega and he’s better, really. 

It helped a lot that his Mum was there, his Pack constantly around him and getting him everything he needed and while he still stays far away from Alphas he actually enjoys going out again. Enjoys the fresh air, the people in the paddock and he feels safe within his Pack. 

“We wanted to-“ Lando stops when a musky scent hits his nose and he tenses involuntarily, Seb protectively tightening his arms around him. It’s Dan, slowly coming closer, stopping five metres away from them and giving Lando a cautious look. 

“Hey”, he says, his voice soft and Lando bites on his bottom lip, trying to calm his racing heart. It’s just Dan. Dan, who never hurt him and is Max’ Mate. Their Pack Alpha. 

Seb has a sharp eye on them, Max cooing when he sees Dan but staying with Lando and the rest and Lando swallows dryly. He knows they have a driver’s meeting later. Knows every single driver on the grid will be there - except Carlos probably. 

And he knows that Dan genuinely worries about him. He has always been kind to him, joking around with him and he’s going to be his future teammate. And maybe it’s stupid to trust another Alpha so quickly but- 

It’s Dan. He has always liked him.

Dan is still calmly looking at him, not moving and Lando slowly steps away from Seb, taking a deep breath while reaching for Max’ hand. He can do this. He has people around him who care for him. 

He bites his bottom lip, he’s pretty sure Dan can smell his fear and Max squeezes his hand reassuringly. Lando slowly walks towards him, Dan cooing encouragingly and he opens his arms for him. 

Lando hesitates for another second before he falls into Dan’s arms, wrapping his arms around his waist and he lets out a shaky breath when Dan hugs him, careful not to squish him. 

“You’re doing so well, Lando”, Dan rumbles and Lando bares his neck, closing his eyes when Dan gently scents him. 

He feels- he feels _safe_ to his own surprise and he buries his face in Dan’s shirt, holding back the tears. Dan is still hugging him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and his hand soothingly running through his hair. 

“I got you, Lando, I got you”, he murmurs, “and I promise I’ll always protect you.” 

Lando feels the tears running down his cheeks and he hugs Dan tighter. He’s okay, it will be okay. 

And it suddenly sounds so much more hopeful than half a year ago. 

He feels Max, Charles, Alex and George join him and Lando closes his eyes, the tension leaving his body. 

He couldn’t care less that they’re hugging in the middle of the paddock - he knows they’ll always have his back. 

# 

“So what happened?”, Lewis asks while sitting down next to Valtteri and Lando chews on his bottom lip, sitting between Max and Charles. He’s still nervous with all the Alphas in the room but Dan’s hand is on his thigh and that’s enough to calm him - for now.

Every single driver is present - except Carlos. Seb is cuddled up next to Kimi, Romain standing in the front and the Beta runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t think it’s my place to say that.” 

He exchanges a quick look with Dan and Dan nods, getting up - Lando presses himself a bit more against Max when he sees the others look at him. He's glad Dan is doing the talking. 

Dan shortly fills them in about what happened between Carlos and Lando, Kimi growling lowly while Lewis looks genuinely shocked and Lando blushes, wishing he could disappear. He gets a pitiful look from Lance and Pierre and Lando hides his hands in sweater paws, Max putting an arm around him. 

“I just want to make one thing clear”, Dan says when he’s done, his voice a bit more threatening than before, “Lando belongs to my Pack. Keep your distance, give him the time and the space he needs and don’t touch him.” 

His eyes wander over the present Alphas and Kimi nods curtly while Lewis runs a hand through his hair, still looking shocked. “That goes without saying mate, Lando- Lando I’m so sorry!” His brown eyes are full of compassion and Lando shrugs, cuddling against Max. 

“Not your fault”, he whispers and Valtteri frowns. “Do we know what happens to Carlos now?” 

“He will be suspended for two races but in the end, it’s all about money.” Max sounds pissed and Romain sighs. “He will continue to race obviously and the media won’t get to know about this but he won’t be allowed near Lando anymore.” 

They keep talking about Carlos but Lando catches himself zoning out, leaning his head against Charles’ shoulder while his legs are on George’s lap and he takes a deep breath. 

Being so close to so many Alphas still makes him a bit nervous but then Dan gives him a reassuring smile and Lando takes a deep breath. Alex hands him his water bottle, making sure he’s drinking enough and it’s going to get better.

Baby steps.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr @ [verstappened](https://verstappened.tumblr.com/) 💛
> 
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated thanksss 💛


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